As someone who grew up on the mission field, one of the things I’ve observed is this: There are many single people on the mission field. Most of them are women.
I could almost hear fellow missionaries laughing.
“Tell us something we don’t know!” they say.
I’m smiling as I type. I am one of those women. In my late twenties. Single and available. My hobbies are… My ideal date is… *laughs* I’m not that desperate. I think.
This post was triggered by a friend from back home, who messaged me out-of-the-blue, to tell me about her love life—or lack of it. She told me how much she was longing.
My first thought was, “Well, welcome to the club.” Then I began to get into an introspective mood. I wasn’t aware that I was longing until she began telling me that she was longing. Desires are easier to deal with when we’re not so keenly aware of them.
For the next five minutes, I dwelled on the reality that I am alone in the great wide unknown. So freaking single. Then I realized that five minutes is way too long to wallow in self-pity, so I squared my shoulders, mustered up a smile, and made a list in order to let you all know how I’m surviving singlehood on the mission field.
Without further exposition, here’s how to survive being single on the mission field:
1. Talk about being single. All. The. Time. To as many people as possible.
The more people who hear you, the more people might be able to set you up with someone they know.
2. Watch a romantic movie at least once a week.
Nothing like a Nicholas Sparks movie to cure all your romantic needs.
3. Read a romance novel (Christian fiction, of course) at least twice a month.
Don’t forget to read non-fiction too! But do avoid Elisabeth Elliot and Joshua Harris books. They might ruin all the fun.
4. Make sure to check the international fellowship every Sunday if someone new from another far-flung country arrived. Is he single? How old is he? Does he have a heart for missions?
It might also help to start singing songs like, “Open the eyes of my crush, Lord.”
5. Read as many blogs and books about singlehood and preparing for marriage as you possibly can.
Even better, write about it! (Like I’m doing now.) Which leads us to number 6…
6. Write love letters to your future partner.
Don’t forget to ask him what’s taking him so long. Why isn’t he on the mission field yet?!
7. Every time you come to God in prayer, make sure to remind Him that you are not called for single-blessedness.
Just in case He might forget.
OK. So I’m just kidding.
The list above is sarcastic, but if you’re doing all those things and it’s helping you, then by all means… No judgment. I’ve done some of these at one point or another in my life. No. I won’t tell you which ones.
Seriously though…
For me? What I really do in order to “survive” being single while on the mission field is the same thing I would do if I weren’t on the mission field.
You see, I don’t want to “survive” singlehood. I want to thrive. I want to make the best out of it, and be the best version of myself in this season.
The only way I can do that is to set my eyes on Him, on what He has called me to do. To seek Him, and listen to His voice, and obey.
Yes. There are days when the desires of my heart resurface, but what else can a Christian do with these desires other than to lay it all at His feet, and trust? Trust that He knows what He’s doing.
And if I have to be single for most or all of my life, then that’s okay. He knows what’s best. I won’t let the desire consume me.
I want to focus on the Author and Perfecter of my faith. To delight in Him, not so that He would grant me the desires of my heart, which He has promised to do, but so that I can find my satisfaction and fulfillment in Him.
That’s what I’m doing. That’s how I’m surviving. No. Scratch that. That’s how I’m thriving.
How about you? Any survival tips?